This morning I received a message from someone on the Opiate Addiction Support Facebook page. A woman wrote that she had read many of my articles, done my online courses, and still couldn’t get off opiates.
She reached out to me asking for help, so I helped her.
And after doing so, I intuitively felt the need to write a short blog post on what I told her, because I’m sure there are many people suffering from her same dilemma.
Here is the gist of what I told her…
Raise Your Standards
Since I quit opiates six years ago, I’ve made personal development a huge part of my life. When I first got clean, the main mentor I studied from was Tony Robbins. I read his books, listened to his audio programs, and attended his seminars.
I learned a great deal from Tony Robbins, and to be quite honest, he is one of the main reasons, if not the main reason, I grew the cojones to become an entrepreneur and create this website and business.
One of the biggest nuggets of wisdom I learned from Tony was this:
We rarely get our “shoulds” in life, but we always get our “MUSTS.” He teaches people that the only way to make changes long-term is for an individual to raise their standards.
According to Merriam-Webster.com, the definition of standard is “a level of quality, achievement, etc., that is considered acceptable or desirable.
Some people have high standards for their lives, and others have low standards.
I remember when I first got off opiates, one thing that helped me feel better was exercise.
I began exercising on a regular basis to feel good physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, one of the side effects of exercising was that I got a pretty decent-looking physique.
I loved looking strong and healthy, and for many years, my standard was that I worked out 3-5 days a week at least, and I needed to be in great shape. That was just one of my MUSTS.
There are many people that keep saying they “should” start working out and getting in shape, but not a lot of people actually do it. It’s only a should for them.
How does this relate to overcoming opiate addiction?
To put it simply, you need to make getting off opiates a must, not a should.
And what’s the easiest way to make overcoming opiate addiction a must? You gotta do what Brendon Burchard teaches in his new book, High Performance Habits. You need to “Raise Necessity.”
Raise Necessity
As I wrote in the beginning of this piece, since quitting opiates six years ago, I’ve made personal development a huge part of my life, and I’m always reading extraordinary books on this subject.
A few weeks ago, I read a book called High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way, which is about the Top 6 Habits of “High Performers.”
High Performance Habit #3, “Raise Necessity,” is something that has helped me and countless others recover from opiate addiction. Author Brendon Burchard states that high performers are consistently raising the necessity of getting important things done in life.
I realized right away this habit could and should also be used by individuals wanting to overcome opiate addiction.
Here’s why…
My Raised Necessity to Quit Opiates
As I sit here writing this article for you on my laptop, I’m remembering how I was finally able to quit opiates after years of failing. No matter how hard I tried in the past, I could never quit opiates. I would set deadlines to quit, then I would make up excuses why I had to push the date back. I would rationalize that it was the right thing to do, but I was only lying to myself.
I continued to be addicted to opiates for years after I wanted to quit, until finally…something absolutely crazy happened.
Six years ago, during a cool fall evening in Southern California, I overdosed on opioids and Valium, and was 60 seconds away from dying. Fortunately, an EMT shot me up with naloxone, putting me into instant opioid withdrawal, and saving my life.
After I got out of the hospital a week later, I came home and realized the seriousness of what had just happened. Due to my addiction, selfishness, and stupidity, I nearly died, which would have left my 18-month-old daughter Willow without a father to raise her.
Fortunately, I got a second chance at life, and Willow still has a daddy. Here is a recent picture of her and I in Hawaii where we live. I absolutely love being a parent, and she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
For many years in my 20’s, I did lots of drugs and drank gallons upon gallons of alcohol, and I partied my ass off with no care for my life or my future.
But now that I had a daughter whom I nearly left fatherless, I knew that it was time to grow up and start making good decisions from here on out.
Thus, my near-death experience changed me.
I vowed that I would never do anything to screw up my daughter’s life again. So as you can see, I had raised the necessity to quit opiates for good this time, and never relapse again.
How To REALLY Raise Necessity
It wasn’t about me anymore…and this is the key to really being able to raise your necessity to quit opioids and stay quit for the entire duration of your life.
Can you see why I was so motivated to quit for good this last time?
I had to raise my standards for my life and raise the necessity to quit because my daughter needed me. She needed a strong, confident, emotionally-balanced, intelligent father that could protect her, nurture her, and love her throughout her childhood, adolescence, and beyond.
So tell me, is quitting opioids a must for you, or is it a should? Is the necessity raised enough for you to do whatever it takes to quit? Who is counting on you to get off opioids? Who needs you to be strong for them right now? When you were a kid, what did you want to do with your life? I bet you didn’t have a dream to become addicted to drugs. How is opioid addiction holding you back from truly giving your gifts to the world?
I believe that we are here to learn, grow, love, and help others. It’s hard to accomplish these needs when we’re addicted to opioids.
Exercise: If you really want to take your life to the next level, get out a pen and sheet of paper, and fill in the blank.
“If I weren’t afraid, I would .”
Now go and make it your life’s purpose and mission to go out and do the things you’ve just written down.
Set some new standards for yourself. Raise your standards in life, and decide right here and now that you will no longer tolerate a life where you’re stuck on opioid drugs when you don’t want to be.
Now raise the necessity.
For me, I never really cared about my own life too much, but when it came to my daughter, I had a HUGE reason to quit.
Often times people will do way more to help a loved one than they will do to help themselves. Who needs you to be the BEST you can be in life right now? Who are you letting down by being addicted to opioids?
Importance of Developing a Strong Mindset
I know I write a lot of articles on medications, supplements, and other things that can be used as opiate withdrawal remedies to help you reduce withdrawal symptoms, but guess what?
Without a strong mindset and a passionate desire to quit opioids, no amount of remedies will help you. And that’s the point I wanted to make with this blog post, as well as the point I wanted to make when I responded to the person’s Facebook message this morning.
The best thing you can do to overcome opiate addiction is have UNWAVERING FAITH that life will be way better after you get clean.
And along with this unwavering faith and positive vision of the future, you also need to downright HATE being addicted to opioids.
If you already have unwavering faith that life after opioid addiction will be grand, and you also hate being on opioid drugs, you’re well on your way to getting your life back. If you don’t feel this way, then start thinking about ways you can adopt these feelings and beliefs.
Opiate recovery is 80% mindset and 20% mechanics.
Work on your mindset, find the best detox plan for your unique needs, and move forward with unwavering faith and courage.
I look forward to seeing you on the other side, and when you get here, I hope you’ll tell me about your journey.
justin
i was in great shape B4 i started opiates and slowly shriveled up into a bean pole ! lol . now that im off i dont really have any interest in body building anymore…my work is more of a physical workout than most military PT lol. that aside…its time to shoot for that sick car i always wanted…thats a standard or goal ive set for myself lol. but b4 that i gotta get myself outta the retarded amount of debt i got myself into during the 10 years or so i was using. good luck to anyone out there still struggling it does get better…takes alot of time . baby steps man !!!€
Matt Finch
Baby steps are the key! The trick is to just keep taking steps in the right direction. And learn from mistakes and continue on the path to recovery no matter what!
Matt Finch
I wish you the best. Take care. 🙂
Matt Finch
Thanks!
justin
Matt i just gotta say…just by listening to a couple of ur webinars on utube has helped me imensley. id listen to them over and and over again…no homo but u have a soothing voice when i was withdrawaling lol…anyway i think its an awesome thing u do and being an ex addict i know theres no prejudice or midconceptions about what we do and why we do it. keep up the good work man !!!
Matt Finch
Thanks, Justin! I’m so glad that listening to my webinars helped you relax during withdrawal. It’s nice to know that there are people who understand and care. And my greatest passion is helping you and others like you know you’re not alone, and know what to do to feel better. 🙂
Desperate
Hi Matt, please advise:
I found your website when I was tapering off of methadone which I was on for ten years after getting on it to come off of a several year pill habit. I used some of the supplements you suggested which helped a lot until I got to a certain point & then I tried Kratom which helped me finally get off of the methadone which I was thrilled for only to find out to my horror that I was still addicted to opiates because I couldn’t stop taking or maintain without the Kratom. I have been trying to stop or wean off of the Kratom for 8 months to no avail. The longest I can go without withdrawal is 3-4 hours. The withdrawal is just like I experienced with the pills & could not take it; which is why I went on methadone in the 1st place. I’m so scared, frustrated and discouraged & just want to be free of everything but afraid I never will be. It has been 13 years since I woke up & went to sleep without depending on something. I thought Kratom was the key to my freedom but it only was a means to continued enslavement. I have even thought about trying to take a very small amount of subs for several days to get off of the Kratom but I’m terrified of getting stuck on something like methadone for years again. Any advice you could give would be so greatly appreciated.
Matt Finch
I’m sorry that you aren’t able to get off kratom. I’ve heard from so many people that they used it well to get off opioids then got off the kratom too.
Sorry you feel enslaved, but I’m pretty sure being on kratom is a lot healthier for your body than being on methadone. I actually made a free kratom detox webinar over a year ago as an emergency measure when the DEA was planning on putting a ban on kratom.
Here is the link to the video for you to watch, and I hope it gives you some direction. anything that helps with opiate withdrawal will also help with kratom withdrawal. You just have to take powerful remedies to reduce your symptoms, you cannot simply stop taking it cold-turkey and not take anything and expect to be fine.
here is the video:
Free Kratom Home Detox Webinar>>
Confused
Great article Matt, My problem is I buy pills once a month. I don’t crave these pills because I had a addiction for years until I found Kratom. Which kratom is amazing it helps my chronic back pain, anxiety and my depression.
But every month I get a call that pills our available and I buy them.
Why do I do this? They don’t get me high like before. They sometimes make me nauseous.
But in my head just knowing I will get them every month makes me happy.
Even if I don’t get the high I use to get.. just knowing I took some m as Kes me feel happy.
Can you help me figure this out please?
I even count the days till I can buy them again.
What is wrong with me?
Matt Finch
It’s because your midbrain links survival to the use of opiates. The midbrain is your primitive “alligator” brain that is responsible for keeping you alive. That’s where drugs work, and they bypass prefontal cortex logic.
Here is an article I wrote that explains this in more detail:
Why It’s So Hard To Quit Opiates: The Hijacked Midbrain>>