I am 109 days off of Subs. My original DOC was opiates intravenously….dilaudid, oxy, opana, morphine, etc. I found my way to the methadone clinic in 2012 and stayed on methadone for nearly a year. I tapered off of methadone and then relapsed a few weeks later.
I decided then to take the Suboxone route.
I never took the amount prescribed. I never went above 2 mgs because I knew I didn’t want to get too dependent due to my experience with methadone.
I was stable at 1 MG for nearly 7 months. I then got a wild hair up my ass and decided to abuse the subs intravenously. That is when I knew it was time to make a change.
What do you do when you are abusing the drug that is supposed to keep you from abusing drugs? I made some huge changes in my diet when I went on subs.
Embracing Nutrition
I became a vegetarian and began eating all organic. I gave up all junk food, sugar, and processed products.
I watched several documentaries that convinced me that nutrition was the answer to healing. Fast forward to February 2015…. I knew this time I was serious about getting and staying clean.
Even though I was still on subs I did not feel clean since I was abusing them. I tapered down to .5 mgs and as luck would have it, my company closed it’s doors in March and I was laid off.
I prepared myself for a painful jump. It was at this time I began taking DLPA and 5-HTP
supplements. Before I jumped I could already feel these supplements changing my mood.
I felt happier and encouraged. On April 7, my 40th birthday, I made that final jump. I waited patiently for the horrible withdrawals to start, and to my utter amazement, I never had any withdrawal symptoms.
I did have some kratom on hand just in case. Looking back I wish I hadn’t even had it in my home because I never even touched the kratom until I was 19 days sub free.
Veering off my Path with Kratom
I didn’t start taking kratom to combat withdrawals. I started taking it because I suffered a family tragedy and my addict behaviour told me that the kratom would numb the pain and it would be a better alternative to the other drugs.
It did work…..too well.
I am one of those people that actually gets a high from kratom. For me it was no different than taking any other opiates.
I would wake up every morning with horrible withdrawals from the kratom and I found myself feeling trapped again. So I tapered off of the kratom and gave away about 300 grams just to get it out of the house.
If it is in the house I am weak.
I joined the gym a few days before stopping kratom because I knew I would need to continue to heal my mind, body, and spirit.
My Recovery!
I am now 2 weeks off of kratom and 4 days off of weed…..my final vice of mind altering substance. My goal is complete abstinence and I am finally there….. Early stages but 100% substance free…. Other than my supplements.
How do I feel?
I feel AMAZING!!!!
I feel like I’ve been given yet another chance at a clean life and there is no way in Hell I will throw it all away this time.
This has been a long journey but I have a great support system with this group and I am 3 months into a new relationship with a man that has never done drugs and has been a huge source of inspiration for me.
I love my new lease on life and wild horses couldn’t drag me away!
If I can do this ANYONE can.
My Advice to those Tapering or Jumping…..
- Do not take as much as the doctor prescribes. Keep your dose as low as you can.
- Do not stay on subs any longer than you have to. It should be a step toward recovery, not a final resting place.
- Find a support system….. Even if it is just a Facebook group…. Use it!
- Get spiritual and MEDITATE!!!!
- EAT HEALTHY!
- Exercise
- Repair the damage to your brain with supplements like DLPA and 5-HTP.
- Have loperamide on hand for withdrawals…..not kratom.
- Believe in yourself!!!!
Again…. This is how I did it (minus the kratom) and my advice. I’m not professing that my way is the only way but maybe my story will help someone.
I believe in all of us!
Love and Light!!!!
Thank you for sharing your experiences on your healing through Suboxone. I like that you mentioned how one must also prioritize nutrition and eating healthily in recovery. My brother’s friend has been struggling with addiction, and I know it’s been stressful for my brother. Maybe I should look into Suboxone treatment for addiction and recommend it to my brother’s friend soon.
De De you fill me with so much inspiration. I have been on subutex (non prescription) for 8-10 years and I must get off them. I am down to 1.75mg and find it hard but reading your story fills me with hope. If you Can give me some advice on what vitamins and supplements to take and when to take them it would really help because I don’t know what I can take and when to take it.
Thanks De De and your an inspiration and a beacon of hope for those of us who have addiction problems.
Best wishes.
Chris.
Hi – this is a very impressive story, DeDe. I have been taking Oxycodone for several years now, prescribed to me for Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have also abused them by taking more than I am prescribed, but only for the past few months. I have suffered a personal trauma, so used them to soothe myself. But I am sick of it all, the W/D esp terrify me and occupy way too much of my time. I want to ask my doctor to put me on Suboxone, but I’m afraid he won’t, he’ll want me to go into rehab or something, which I do not have time for. I have a job I really need. My question is, why on earth am I afraid of my doctor’s response to my request? He is pretty much obliged to meet my request, is he not? He is a pain management doctor. Also, I need to know what are the first few days like? Do I have to go to the clinic every day at first? I really want a smooth transition. I hope this thread is still alive!
I am now day 31 off of Suboxone and don’t feel great, but am slowly gaining strength. I did use L-tyrosine for a couple of weeks. I am trying to find DLPA in the stores and cannot even find it at GNC. I was on subs for ten years though. The doctors acted like it was normal and that I should be on it for life at first. It was only the last year or so that I found it is not normal to be on them for that long! I know Matt Finch has been my inspiration.
Congrats Pamela!!! I’m so proud of you for making it 31 days off Suboxone! And yes, DLPA is hard to find in stores. Well done on your extraordinary achievement Pamela. Wishing you the best. 🙂
So very impressed with your honesty and your great story…9 days sub free for me and I have used Kratos but only twice and even though it said take 7 capsules I only took 2…I’m positive and ready to make this change..your story encourages me…thank you…
I’m on day 3 no subs. I’ve been trying to do it cold turkey, fearing the relentless withdrawls that I know are inevitable! However, right now, I’m ok. I am going after work to pick up some DLPA just to curb off any negative effects I do have. Pray for me, but most of all, believe in me, because for the first time in a long time, I DO!
You may just be surprised by how much stronger you are than you even know! Good luck with your recovery and I believe in you too, Courtney!
This story is so inspiring! I myself am tapering off suboxone and won’t feel clean until I’m off. I have made many of these same changes but fear of the unknown is wd hat I have holding me back. Its stories like this (when horror stories are everywhere online) that give me hope! I quit reading those horror stories, now if I could just forget them! Thank you for proving that there is life after suboxone!
I’m so happy my story is an inspiration. Fear of the unknown often holds us back but I know you can do it, Mary!
Mary you took the words right out of my mouth! DeDe story proves there is life after subs Thank you